inspiration

well, laura's guest blog managed to both cure me of my writer's block as well as tempt me to venture into the world of sushi. it really does feel great to be blogging again, plus, i'd hate for anyone to think that i'm not on top of the latest food trends.

like laura, i went straight to the experts and decided to order in from friend house. unfortunately, as a vegetarian who doesn't eat fish, i found my menu options quite limited. then i stumbled across a dish called asparagus rolls. i thought this would be a great way to sneak in a serving of veggies inside of some warm doughy carbtastic goodness. i got my tub of butter and spreading knife ready and waited for the delivery man to arrive.



well, you can imagine my surprise when a bunch of actual mini asparagus stalks showed up wrapped in rice and some sort of mystery black stuff. what kind of a roll was this?? where was the bread? luckily though, they had provided me with plenty of soy sauce to cover up the flavor of those pesky vegetables. also, based on laura's experience with the boat, i was worried that someone would come back to my apartment to collect the plastic container my "rolls" were served in, so i quickly hid it in a safe place as soon as i was finished.

the verdict: be sure to ask many questions when ordering from a sushi restaurant as their menus are obviously quite misleading. still i suppose, it's a trend that everyone should try at least once.

bean harmony

sorry for the lack of updates this past week, but i've been busy checking in on my competition. you may not have realized it, but i'm actually not the only food blogger on the interweb. keeping tabs on what everyone else is up to helps me keep my little mental kitchen to do (and not to do) list fresh.

one great source of inspiration is the cook and author of the smitten kitchen. she and i have so much in common it's downright scary. for starters we're both from new york and we're both named deb(bie). and then of course there's the obvious - that we're both amazingly talented behind the camera and in the kitchen... and not to mention witty as fuck.



i figured it was about time i share one of her recipes (along with some much needed improvements) with all of you. deb certainly had the right idea but it just lacked that special something. luckily i've come along and tweaked the recipe to perfection.

mixed bean salad with tomato and lemon (by smitten kitchen)

• 2 medium tomatoes 1
  
• ½ pound yellow wax beans, ends trimmed and beans halved crosswise 2
  
• ½ pound haricot vert, or slim green beans, ends trimmed and beans halved crosswise 3
  
• 2 to 3 tablespoons olive oil 4
  
• 2 cloves garlic, minced 5
  
• pinch of red pepper flakes
• glug of white wine 6
  
• salt and pepper 7
  
• juice of one lemon 8

1 substituted half a can of whole peeled stewed tomatoes
2 omitted
3 substituted one can of cut green beans
4 omitted
5 substituted jarred minced garlic in olive oil
6 substituted red wine
7 omitted
8 used only half a lemon



microwave green beans for two minutes and set aside. heat garlic and red pepper in a large pan. add tomatoes and simmer for a couple minutes. add a splash of red wine and continue to simmer. lower heat and toss in green beans, coating evenly with tomato and garlic. squeeze the juice of half a lemon over everything and serve.



as you can see there was none of that slotted spoon, ice bath, or colander nonsense that deb seemed so fond of. and yet the end result is still a perfectly light summery meal. nice try deb, but next time you might want to check with the expert first.

triple berry surprise

okay kids, this recipe is a bit involved, so you might want to enlist some parental supervision. there's prep work and stove usage... but don't worry, no knives! anyway, now that i've been turned on to one of the hot new cooking trends out there, it's opened up a whole world of possibilities to me, not the least of which is wheat berries!



triple berry surprise

• 1 part wheat berries
• 4 parts water
• 1/4 cup raspberries
• 1/8 cup goji berries
• 1/4 cup soy milk
• 1 tablespoon honey

rinse wheat berries in cold water. to cut down on actual cooking time it's best to soak them overnight (or for extra easy cookability soak them for a full day and pretend it has nothing to do with the fact that you forgot they were already sitting there on the stove for a good 12 hours). i used a half cup of berries and 2 cups of water because i don't actually own a full set of measuring cups (a true chef just knows) and the half cup was all i had handy. bring water with wheat berries to a rolling boil and cover pot. let cook until most of the water in the pot has evaporated (for an added crunchy film, ignore pot boiling over and smell of burning wheat and allow half the berries to fuse to the bottom of the pot). drain berries (or not, depending if you went for the crunchy film effect) and top bowl with raspberries and goji berries. add a splash of soy milk and drizzle with honey.



i suppose i've given away the fact that the surprise in this recipe is really just some soy milk and honey, so if you make this for friends be sure not to spoil it! some might also argue that this is more of a breakfast dish than a dinner one. but as you all know, i refuse to be bound by society's norms of time specific food.

oooh swanky!

last night's attempt to go get drinks landed us in a bar with no air conditioning and warm beer taps. since this was clearly unacceptable and we suddenly realized we were craving this crazy thing called dinner, we ventured out into the west village in search of food and drink. this might not sound like a mighty task to anyone else, but i'm not one to just jump into a new relationship with a restaurant on the fly. i like to do my research, go through a little courtship first, you know develop a mutual sort of appreciation with the place. i've got some serious standards when it comes to the quality of my food.



and really, what says class more than a place called señor swanky's?




my dining companions had the cheese enchiladas and the mexican love sticks with swanky glaze [too. many. jokes. must. continue. blogging.] respectively.



i had the vegetarian salad (PS how meat-tastic must a place be when you actually have to sepcificy that a *salad* is vegetarian) and the waiter and i played this fun little game where he offered me different dressings then reported back that they didn't actually serve them. while this taught me that apparently no one in swankyville had ever ordered a meal consisting primarily of greens before, i did get the bonus treat of discovering their delicious carrot dressing which i never would have tried if my first 17 million dressing choices hadn't been shot down.

in the end the nice mr. waiter man comped us a round of swankaritas to make up for the salad dressing debacle. you know when you eat at a place that's officially dubbed a "mexican cafe and celebrity hangout" they know how to treat their high profile guests. never fear señor, your reputation's safe with foodland.

guest blogger: tracey

well my kitchen's still out of commission but luckily guest blogger tracey has stepped in today. i hope you enjoy this awesome recipe she has to share with all of you. thanks tracey for coming through in a pinch!

grilled cheese (by tracey)*

1. dial 617-254-8114 and ask for moogy
2. await buzzer alerting you that food has arrived
3. observe cryptic "GrCh" written on your sandwich's wrapping. does this mean grilled cheese, or greasy cheddar?
   
   
4. the latter, it would seem:
   
   
5. unwrap, observe toasted perfection, and enjoy.
   
   
   

*please note this meal is prepared best in the metro-boston area only

all cooked out

yesterday's 12 blog entries in 12 hours have left me physically and emotionally drained. it truly is exhausting maintaining my top notch standards in the kitchen. i really want to share some new and amazing recipes with all of you, but i'm afraid i'm stuck in leftover hell right now.



not to mention the current state of my dirty dishes.

but never fear, as always i have a backup plan, and will review for you my dinner from a few nights ago.

maoz in union square is one of only two locations in the the US for this vegetarian falafel chain. the sign said "hungry?" and amazingly enough, i was! i knew that if this place specialized both in fine cuisine *and* mind reading then they really must mean business.




the best part of this meal was the fact that they only prepared my food to a certain extent, after which point they deferred to my superior culinary technique. it was like experiencing the joys of cooking and eating out all rolled into one! i ordered a junior maoz royale (small falafel with eggplant and hummus) on whole wheat pita. at the salad bar i really let my talent shine and added tomato, lightly fried cauliflower & broccoli, and tabbouleh with both tahini and garlic sauce.



all the other patrons in the restaurant couldn't stop staring at my clearly superior falafel. of course, that may have also had something to do with the fact that the entire place is about the size of my bathroom and they simply had nowhere else to look. though i think it's quite obvious which of those two explanations makes the most sense.

one brainwashing to go please (lg15 12 of 12)

so it's over. and i'm thinking i could use a nice healthy dose of some of the stuff daniel got before the miss me? video. after all, it did wonders for danny b, just think what it could do for me...




i'm far too exhausted to even pretend to have a recipe for this one. i live in new york for fucks sake, the pizza came from the pizzeria on the corner and the ice cream is ben & jerry's from the bodega on the other corner. and here's some virtual spin art to seal the deal.

i'll return to my regularly scheduled gourmet blogging tomorrow and see the rest of you lonelycrackers on the interwebs on monday!!

thanksgiving in august (lg15 5 of 12)

i've been sharing some great snack recipes with you all afternoon, but now it's time to get into some serious cooking.



thanksgiving feast (by lonelygirl15)

• 1 bottle of cranberry juice
• 1 bag of potato chips
• 1 container of trail mix
• 1 package of turkey jerky

bree made this meal in picnic form for daniel in the thanksgiving video. it's a great new take on the traditional thanksgiving dinner with the turkey jerky (i substituted primal strips meatless jerky) representing the turkey, potato chips as mashed potatoes, trail mix for stuffing, and cranberry juice instead of cranberry sauce.

i can't wait to make this for my family come november!!

dishless dinner

here's an amazing, quick, and easy meal you can make when you're in a hurry. and the best part is you don't have to dirty a single dish in the process.



cold soba

• one container of pre-made soba from your local health food store or co-op

remove lid from container, insert fork, and enjoy!



soba is one of those fancy japanese imports that's all the rage in new york these days. it's actually a noodle made of buckwheat!



for dessert i had some lemon ginger soy frozen yogurt by whole soy & co (which i was tipped off to by my friend amy). there was a typo on the container though because it claimed there were actually four servings in there when clearly you're meant to eat the entire pint in one sitting.

isn't it amazing what sort of meals you can whip up without any cleanup??

cooking with friends

my friend karolyn invited me over to help her cook dinner last night.



it was a good thing i got there when i did, because she was attempting to prepare ratatouille on the floor!

i swooped in to save the meal and make the quinoa.

red quinoa

• one box of ancient harvest inca red quinoa
• one pot of water

open box of quinoa (be sure to open plastic bag inside of box as well). pour entire box into pot of water. boil for approximately 15 minutes or until karolyn pays attention and turns off the flame.



i know some of you were a little intimidated by the stove top usage in the hard boiled egg recipe, so you might want to check out this tutorial here. in fact it might be best to do several practice runs before actually making any real food.

while i did all the hard work, karolyn busied herself with useless endeavors like building towers of ratatouille and quinoa out of recycled cans.



unfortunately, the hard, sad reality of gravity soon set in. amazingly enough though, this dish tastes identical in both a vertical and horizontal position.



for dessert we had cupcakes from sugar sweet sunshine provided by ian, another dinner guest. it's a good thing that he and i were there to save this meal from being a total and utter disaster. however, i did learn that it's difficult to photograph cupcakes while intoxicated.

it's so good to know that my friends can really count on me to help them eat well!!*

*though i must admit part of me secretly isn't sure just how grateful they are, seeing as how they repaid me by forcing me to play a five hour game of pirates which nobody actually won...

tastes like chicken

here's a great dish introduced to me by my friend nicole about a month ago.



goat cheese cranberry quorn goodness (by nicole)

• 1 quorn cranberry & goat cheese chik'n cutlet

place cutlet on a pre-heated cookie sheet and bake for 18 minutes at 425°

i vary this recipe slightly by skipping the baking step and instead microwaving the cutlet on high for 2 minutes. although the quorn packaging warns that microwaving is not recommended, i'm convinced that if they truly meant that they wouldn't have gone so far as to provide microwave heating instructions on the box. besides which, i could stand to cut down on some of the B12 content in that goat cheese.



i paired the cutlet with a gorgonzola and walnut salad. i prepared this by purchasing a premade gorgonzola & walnut salad from trader joe's, removing the lid, and dumping it on my plate. i did however substitute annie's natural low fat gingerly vinaigrette for the balsamic provided since i simply don't understand the concept of a salad dressing with more than 10 grams of fat. pre-made salads like this are really fantastic as they eliminate all the pesky busy work like removing leaves of lettuce from the head and washing them. the time i save frees up the rest of my evening to concentrate on my more serious gastronomical masterworks. i was concerned for a brief moment that there only appeared to be one tomato in the salad when the packaging clearly advertised "gorgonzola cheese, walnuts, and grape tomatoes on salad greens," but thankfully i found the second tomato hiding in there as well.

obligatory post

while my parents were in town my mother was insistent that we partake in some chocolate by the bald man. unfortunately max brenner falls a bit below my usual dining standards, so i feel i'd be doing my readers a disservice by devoting too much time to them. i'll do my best to spare you all and keep this brief.




i started off with a not-quite-caesar salad (romaine, croutons, and parmesan with citrus vinaigrette instead of caesar dressing). my dressing was served on the side in a miniature erlenmeyer flask - which i think was a sad attempt to convince me that there were some scientific methods behind their food preparation.




for dessert we shared the melting marshmallow crepe (melted chocolate chunks and marshmallows, vanilla ice cream, gummy bears, warm chocolate sauce, white chocolate chunks) and melting chocolate heart cake (warm chocolate cake with melted dark and white chocolate heart, fresh strawberries, vanilla ice cream and warm chocolate sauce). i think they like to name their desserts "melting" to distract customers from the fact that they're clearly unable to serve things in their proper frozen state. thankfully though, since i'd just eaten a salad, any and all calories in the chocolate were thereby completely negated.

if you're in search of light and savory eats paired with rich and decadent sweets then go here if you must. but don't say i didn't warn you.

perks of the job

one of the great things about working in the entertainment industry is that i'm always being wined and dined. it's definitely one of the things that has helped me refine my sophisticated palate.

tonight, compliments of live nation, i was treated to the following epicurean delights:




the salad de la casa and veggie burger from chat 'n' chew. i consider it both an honor and a privilege to be able to partake in some of the finest takeout under $15 that union square has to offer.

to drink, i paired this meal with both a diet coke (a freebie from the bar) and a teany green tea with ginseng (a gift from the local deli). this combination of aspartame-ridden carbonation and Moby-esque goodness provided the perfect bouquet to compliment my meal.



and of course, no rock and roll evening would be complete without a night cap. once home i indulged in a glass of mint chocolate baileys (sample provided by the local liquor store) with soy milk.



to make this cocktail i mixed equal parts baileys and unsweetened soymilk. serve chilled over a single ice cube.

i know not everyone gets to experience such A-list treatment. but i'd definitely recommend saving up to treat yourself to a night like tonight at least once or twice a year.

dinner delicacy

living alone doesn't mean i have to skimp on the gourmet entrees.

tonight i fixed myself this timeless classic.



i certainly wouldn't recommend it for the novice chef as it takes a bit of practice to get this dish just right. however, the end result is certainly worth the extra work.

optimum zen cranberry ginger

• 3/4 cup cereal
• 125 ml skim milk

i substituted unsweetened soy milk for the skim milk. i also prefer to increase the cereal portion, either filling the bowl nearly to the top or completely emptying the box (whichever comes first).



allow cereal to soak in milk until dried cranberries become soft (or else risk losing a filling) and milk takes on a slight beige-ish hue.