oooh swanky!

last night's attempt to go get drinks landed us in a bar with no air conditioning and warm beer taps. since this was clearly unacceptable and we suddenly realized we were craving this crazy thing called dinner, we ventured out into the west village in search of food and drink. this might not sound like a mighty task to anyone else, but i'm not one to just jump into a new relationship with a restaurant on the fly. i like to do my research, go through a little courtship first, you know develop a mutual sort of appreciation with the place. i've got some serious standards when it comes to the quality of my food.



and really, what says class more than a place called señor swanky's?




my dining companions had the cheese enchiladas and the mexican love sticks with swanky glaze [too. many. jokes. must. continue. blogging.] respectively.



i had the vegetarian salad (PS how meat-tastic must a place be when you actually have to sepcificy that a *salad* is vegetarian) and the waiter and i played this fun little game where he offered me different dressings then reported back that they didn't actually serve them. while this taught me that apparently no one in swankyville had ever ordered a meal consisting primarily of greens before, i did get the bonus treat of discovering their delicious carrot dressing which i never would have tried if my first 17 million dressing choices hadn't been shot down.

in the end the nice mr. waiter man comped us a round of swankaritas to make up for the salad dressing debacle. you know when you eat at a place that's officially dubbed a "mexican cafe and celebrity hangout" they know how to treat their high profile guests. never fear señor, your reputation's safe with foodland.

all cooked out

yesterday's 12 blog entries in 12 hours have left me physically and emotionally drained. it truly is exhausting maintaining my top notch standards in the kitchen. i really want to share some new and amazing recipes with all of you, but i'm afraid i'm stuck in leftover hell right now.



not to mention the current state of my dirty dishes.

but never fear, as always i have a backup plan, and will review for you my dinner from a few nights ago.

maoz in union square is one of only two locations in the the US for this vegetarian falafel chain. the sign said "hungry?" and amazingly enough, i was! i knew that if this place specialized both in fine cuisine *and* mind reading then they really must mean business.




the best part of this meal was the fact that they only prepared my food to a certain extent, after which point they deferred to my superior culinary technique. it was like experiencing the joys of cooking and eating out all rolled into one! i ordered a junior maoz royale (small falafel with eggplant and hummus) on whole wheat pita. at the salad bar i really let my talent shine and added tomato, lightly fried cauliflower & broccoli, and tabbouleh with both tahini and garlic sauce.



all the other patrons in the restaurant couldn't stop staring at my clearly superior falafel. of course, that may have also had something to do with the fact that the entire place is about the size of my bathroom and they simply had nowhere else to look. though i think it's quite obvious which of those two explanations makes the most sense.

feed a cold

i've been a bit under the weather these last few days, and when i woke up this morning i just knew i wouldn't be up to fixing any sort of respectable breakfast. luckily the boyfriend came to the rescue, putting my well being ahead of his, and taking me out for the best possible brunch to get me back on the road to wellness. nothing says you care like taking your sick significant other to the cheapest, greasiest dive in the neighborhood (aka the odessa diner).



seriously, is there anything classier than a place that charges 50 cents extra for cheese on their cheese omelette sandwich?




he and i shared a tomato, mushroom, and swiss omelette (with a side of fries) along with an order of french toast. i have to say that he really knows his remedies, because after consuming the sort of fare that should only ever be touched between 12 and 4 AM while under the influence, i found myself so filled with an overpowering urge to vomit that my cold was the furthest thing from my mind.

i really owe the boy big time since he went so above and beyond with this one. any suggestions how i could pay him back??

obligatory post

while my parents were in town my mother was insistent that we partake in some chocolate by the bald man. unfortunately max brenner falls a bit below my usual dining standards, so i feel i'd be doing my readers a disservice by devoting too much time to them. i'll do my best to spare you all and keep this brief.




i started off with a not-quite-caesar salad (romaine, croutons, and parmesan with citrus vinaigrette instead of caesar dressing). my dressing was served on the side in a miniature erlenmeyer flask - which i think was a sad attempt to convince me that there were some scientific methods behind their food preparation.




for dessert we shared the melting marshmallow crepe (melted chocolate chunks and marshmallows, vanilla ice cream, gummy bears, warm chocolate sauce, white chocolate chunks) and melting chocolate heart cake (warm chocolate cake with melted dark and white chocolate heart, fresh strawberries, vanilla ice cream and warm chocolate sauce). i think they like to name their desserts "melting" to distract customers from the fact that they're clearly unable to serve things in their proper frozen state. thankfully though, since i'd just eaten a salad, any and all calories in the chocolate were thereby completely negated.

if you're in search of light and savory eats paired with rich and decadent sweets then go here if you must. but don't say i didn't warn you.