i <3 salad

well it's time for me give a shout out to my favorite fellow blogger again. i'd been waiting for a special occasion to make this awesome recipe, but finally i decided i would just treat myself!

in this sweet summer treat you take something plain and simple like this:



and mix it with other fun ingredients containing things like high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, and modified food starch to make something like this:



pretty great, huh?

snickers salad (by carrie's dad's girlfriend kelly)

• 6 chilled snickers candy bars
• 6 apples (granny smith and/or red delicious)
• 1 container cool whip
• 1 box instant vanilla pudding

mix cool whip and pudding mix together (i substituted lite cool whip and sugar/fat free pudding for a healthier option). core and chop apples and snickers into bite size pieces. even though i substituted individually wrapped snickers minis (all that packaging makes me feel safe from food contamination... and terrorists) , i still halved or quartered each one. combine apples and snickers with cool whip / pudding mix. drizzle with caramel and chocolate and chill for at least an hour.



this is quite possibly the sweetest thing i've ever ingested (and this is coming from me - the girl who eats ice cream by the tub and donuts by the dozen). i actually wound up using only half the apples called for because there simply wasn't any more room in my bowl to mix up more salad - so perhaps more fruit would have offset the cloying flavor a bit. but as we all know, the more saccharine the better when it comes to desserts - which means the snicker salad is pretty much perfect!

bean harmony

sorry for the lack of updates this past week, but i've been busy checking in on my competition. you may not have realized it, but i'm actually not the only food blogger on the interweb. keeping tabs on what everyone else is up to helps me keep my little mental kitchen to do (and not to do) list fresh.

one great source of inspiration is the cook and author of the smitten kitchen. she and i have so much in common it's downright scary. for starters we're both from new york and we're both named deb(bie). and then of course there's the obvious - that we're both amazingly talented behind the camera and in the kitchen... and not to mention witty as fuck.



i figured it was about time i share one of her recipes (along with some much needed improvements) with all of you. deb certainly had the right idea but it just lacked that special something. luckily i've come along and tweaked the recipe to perfection.

mixed bean salad with tomato and lemon (by smitten kitchen)

• 2 medium tomatoes 1
  
• ½ pound yellow wax beans, ends trimmed and beans halved crosswise 2
  
• ½ pound haricot vert, or slim green beans, ends trimmed and beans halved crosswise 3
  
• 2 to 3 tablespoons olive oil 4
  
• 2 cloves garlic, minced 5
  
• pinch of red pepper flakes
• glug of white wine 6
  
• salt and pepper 7
  
• juice of one lemon 8

1 substituted half a can of whole peeled stewed tomatoes
2 omitted
3 substituted one can of cut green beans
4 omitted
5 substituted jarred minced garlic in olive oil
6 substituted red wine
7 omitted
8 used only half a lemon



microwave green beans for two minutes and set aside. heat garlic and red pepper in a large pan. add tomatoes and simmer for a couple minutes. add a splash of red wine and continue to simmer. lower heat and toss in green beans, coating evenly with tomato and garlic. squeeze the juice of half a lemon over everything and serve.



as you can see there was none of that slotted spoon, ice bath, or colander nonsense that deb seemed so fond of. and yet the end result is still a perfectly light summery meal. nice try deb, but next time you might want to check with the expert first.

oooh swanky!

last night's attempt to go get drinks landed us in a bar with no air conditioning and warm beer taps. since this was clearly unacceptable and we suddenly realized we were craving this crazy thing called dinner, we ventured out into the west village in search of food and drink. this might not sound like a mighty task to anyone else, but i'm not one to just jump into a new relationship with a restaurant on the fly. i like to do my research, go through a little courtship first, you know develop a mutual sort of appreciation with the place. i've got some serious standards when it comes to the quality of my food.



and really, what says class more than a place called señor swanky's?




my dining companions had the cheese enchiladas and the mexican love sticks with swanky glaze [too. many. jokes. must. continue. blogging.] respectively.



i had the vegetarian salad (PS how meat-tastic must a place be when you actually have to sepcificy that a *salad* is vegetarian) and the waiter and i played this fun little game where he offered me different dressings then reported back that they didn't actually serve them. while this taught me that apparently no one in swankyville had ever ordered a meal consisting primarily of greens before, i did get the bonus treat of discovering their delicious carrot dressing which i never would have tried if my first 17 million dressing choices hadn't been shot down.

in the end the nice mr. waiter man comped us a round of swankaritas to make up for the salad dressing debacle. you know when you eat at a place that's officially dubbed a "mexican cafe and celebrity hangout" they know how to treat their high profile guests. never fear señor, your reputation's safe with foodland.

all cooked out

yesterday's 12 blog entries in 12 hours have left me physically and emotionally drained. it truly is exhausting maintaining my top notch standards in the kitchen. i really want to share some new and amazing recipes with all of you, but i'm afraid i'm stuck in leftover hell right now.



not to mention the current state of my dirty dishes.

but never fear, as always i have a backup plan, and will review for you my dinner from a few nights ago.

maoz in union square is one of only two locations in the the US for this vegetarian falafel chain. the sign said "hungry?" and amazingly enough, i was! i knew that if this place specialized both in fine cuisine *and* mind reading then they really must mean business.




the best part of this meal was the fact that they only prepared my food to a certain extent, after which point they deferred to my superior culinary technique. it was like experiencing the joys of cooking and eating out all rolled into one! i ordered a junior maoz royale (small falafel with eggplant and hummus) on whole wheat pita. at the salad bar i really let my talent shine and added tomato, lightly fried cauliflower & broccoli, and tabbouleh with both tahini and garlic sauce.



all the other patrons in the restaurant couldn't stop staring at my clearly superior falafel. of course, that may have also had something to do with the fact that the entire place is about the size of my bathroom and they simply had nowhere else to look. though i think it's quite obvious which of those two explanations makes the most sense.

tastes like chicken

here's a great dish introduced to me by my friend nicole about a month ago.



goat cheese cranberry quorn goodness (by nicole)

• 1 quorn cranberry & goat cheese chik'n cutlet

place cutlet on a pre-heated cookie sheet and bake for 18 minutes at 425°

i vary this recipe slightly by skipping the baking step and instead microwaving the cutlet on high for 2 minutes. although the quorn packaging warns that microwaving is not recommended, i'm convinced that if they truly meant that they wouldn't have gone so far as to provide microwave heating instructions on the box. besides which, i could stand to cut down on some of the B12 content in that goat cheese.



i paired the cutlet with a gorgonzola and walnut salad. i prepared this by purchasing a premade gorgonzola & walnut salad from trader joe's, removing the lid, and dumping it on my plate. i did however substitute annie's natural low fat gingerly vinaigrette for the balsamic provided since i simply don't understand the concept of a salad dressing with more than 10 grams of fat. pre-made salads like this are really fantastic as they eliminate all the pesky busy work like removing leaves of lettuce from the head and washing them. the time i save frees up the rest of my evening to concentrate on my more serious gastronomical masterworks. i was concerned for a brief moment that there only appeared to be one tomato in the salad when the packaging clearly advertised "gorgonzola cheese, walnuts, and grape tomatoes on salad greens," but thankfully i found the second tomato hiding in there as well.

obligatory post

while my parents were in town my mother was insistent that we partake in some chocolate by the bald man. unfortunately max brenner falls a bit below my usual dining standards, so i feel i'd be doing my readers a disservice by devoting too much time to them. i'll do my best to spare you all and keep this brief.




i started off with a not-quite-caesar salad (romaine, croutons, and parmesan with citrus vinaigrette instead of caesar dressing). my dressing was served on the side in a miniature erlenmeyer flask - which i think was a sad attempt to convince me that there were some scientific methods behind their food preparation.




for dessert we shared the melting marshmallow crepe (melted chocolate chunks and marshmallows, vanilla ice cream, gummy bears, warm chocolate sauce, white chocolate chunks) and melting chocolate heart cake (warm chocolate cake with melted dark and white chocolate heart, fresh strawberries, vanilla ice cream and warm chocolate sauce). i think they like to name their desserts "melting" to distract customers from the fact that they're clearly unable to serve things in their proper frozen state. thankfully though, since i'd just eaten a salad, any and all calories in the chocolate were thereby completely negated.

if you're in search of light and savory eats paired with rich and decadent sweets then go here if you must. but don't say i didn't warn you.

perks of the job

one of the great things about working in the entertainment industry is that i'm always being wined and dined. it's definitely one of the things that has helped me refine my sophisticated palate.

tonight, compliments of live nation, i was treated to the following epicurean delights:




the salad de la casa and veggie burger from chat 'n' chew. i consider it both an honor and a privilege to be able to partake in some of the finest takeout under $15 that union square has to offer.

to drink, i paired this meal with both a diet coke (a freebie from the bar) and a teany green tea with ginseng (a gift from the local deli). this combination of aspartame-ridden carbonation and Moby-esque goodness provided the perfect bouquet to compliment my meal.



and of course, no rock and roll evening would be complete without a night cap. once home i indulged in a glass of mint chocolate baileys (sample provided by the local liquor store) with soy milk.



to make this cocktail i mixed equal parts baileys and unsweetened soymilk. serve chilled over a single ice cube.

i know not everyone gets to experience such A-list treatment. but i'd definitely recommend saving up to treat yourself to a night like tonight at least once or twice a year.